10 Times We Were Almost On The Menu

April 16, 2018

Aquaman Does Not Appreciate Spear-Fishermen.

*Nails on chalkboard* “Did someone say catch a shark?” A lone spear-fisherman was wading his way through the Australian Gulf when a 6 foot long Bull shark takes off his invisibility cloak and charges from the depths of the ocean floor. The shark opens its mouth at the very last second, allowing the diver to make a miracle-esque spear shot right into its open jaws. 

In Soviet Russia, bear runs from you!

This is one beary scary video, displaying a cameraman relaxing above a creek while he photographs the scenery. Suddenly, he notices a 700 pound Grizzly bear is sitting next to him closer than Monday seems on a Sunday. Be still, or be eaten!

Human, DO NOT PANIC. I WILL HELP YOU.

Here we see a loving polar bear trying to help a photographer out of a snowy situation. Actually, it’s not quite that peachy, as polar bears are one of the only animals in the world that see humans as food. If they’re hungry, and they smell you from over 100 miles away, they will hunt you down like Tom hunts Jerry on a regular basis. So, if you’re ever traveling in the arctic, make sure to have an action plan. 

 

www.DoesTheDogDie.com

Wee Woo Wee Woo, WEE WOO WEE WOO. Don’t worry Patrick, the orca is just trying to help the doggo get back to his condo, he’s completely fine. 

Orcas are actually very similar to dolphins, in nature and in anatomy, and this little guy here was just looking for a friend. Both dolphins and orcas are considered to be the smartest of creatures, having multiple forms of communication. EeEeEeEeEeE (dolphin for I love you) too, young man!

Hey Jimmy, Is the Water Supposed To Do Th–

Whale whale whale, what do we have here? These divers are greeted by two Humpbacks meaning no harm to them, but one of the men is almost swallowed up by one of the creatures breaking the surface. Obviously, whales are warmhearted creatures, and would never use their enormous size to inflict harm on a human. But it’s the imagination, along with videos like these, that allows room for the question: what if? 

“As We Look at These Leaves Here, Excuse Me Sir We’re Filming a Documentary Do You Mind?”

In the lush forests of Rwanda, this extremely bold fellow has his reflexes checked by a full grown male silverback gorilla, and he doesn’t even flinch. A lot of animals do this charge as a test, bears are among these animals known to do this as well. You should never try to outrun an animal because you will never win (unless it’s a sloth, or a two legged bear). The best thing to do is stand, look big, and pray that it is, in fact, just a “test”.

Wow okay, I am like, SO claustrophobic right now.

What did the dad say to the son as this was happening? Bison. A group of tourists pushes their luck as they take pictures and one father begins to run, startling the 2,000 pound animal into self-defense mode. What is most impressive, though, is the fact that they were able to run at such speed wearing socks and sandals. 

So…. Whatcha Guys Talking About?

This sneaky Cheetah obviously wanted the full safari experience, scaling the front of the jeep in which these tourists resided. Of course, this is after the cheetah pulled a Kobe Bryant to the cameraman and acted like he was just taking a stroll through the savannah. *Queue Music* Little Kit Kitty, Little Kit Kitty…

HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST?

Great Whites are the terror of the deep, as they are the biggest predatory sharks in the ocean. Cage diving never does guarantee a 100% successful return rate, and you can see why this is in the video. The shark is pursuing bait that the hosts of the experience have thrown in the water to attract attention, but the shark gets carried away, right through the cage of these terrified divers. 

Leg, TEACH ME HOW TO RUN FAST

This shark goes to make a quick snack of this diver, apparently deeming him too de-leg-table to pass up, as would any starving creature. Although most sharks reside only in salt water, bull sharks and river sharks are able to swim into fresh water. This means that they can travel as far and wide as they desire: down the Amazon River, up the Mississippi River, and they’ve even been spotted across India’s Ganges.

Squidward, WHERE ARE YOU? Shield Me with Your Forehead!

Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs? That’s the feeling of you narrowly escaping death, and getting crushed by a wheel is only one of the many ways you could meet a depressing demise. Crabs are naturally cannibalistic, the blue crab incredibly more so than most other species of crab and any other animal in the world. So don’t worry, Mr. Krabs is safe from a traitorous death, for now.